The Dumbing Down of America

List of reasons why we are Dumber than before:

(The items are in no particular order)
Global Warming CO2 levels .vs. American IQ levels
IQ's in America are exactly tracking the increase in atmospheric Carbon Dioxide.
Global Warming CO2 levels .vs. American IQ levels
Local News
Local News Fifty percent of their air time is wasted on previews of
hyper-shallow stories that are "coming up next".
Lead stories are always the most disgusting dirt they can dig up that day.
NEWS RULE 1: Pedophile stories always lead.
NEWS RULE 2: Must find Pedophile story.
These are followed by Weather Forecasts that are always wrong. (Except in Hawaii)
Then come the daily health reports, by a 'Specialist'. These are beyond shallow, but funny.
The word: Absolutely
Is the most over used word in the English Language.
Americans have forgotten the word: "Yes" -- it's been replaced with: "Absolutely".
For Example, tune to any Cable News ( CNN, MSNBC, FOX ) and you will hear this word within 2 minutes.
If you say this word more than once per week, I'm sad to report, America has dumbed you down.
Extreme Dumbness Example: Women who say this word twice in a row!
Any President...
whose last name ends with: "Bush"    
Anybody, I mean ANYBODY, can be president! Dumbistan
Gas Prices ending with 9 Tenths of a Cent
Gas Prices In the early days, gas actually sold for 9.9 cents per gallon,
so that was not very dumb way back then...
But Now Days... just plain stupid.

When a gallon of gas costs $79.99 someday, what will happen?

They will display the price as: 79999
"Like Latin"
Kids now speak this language...
Here is an example:
Oh, and I'm like, so happy to like, be here!
And he's like, really cute.
I have coined the phrase "Like Latin" to describe this language.
The Death of Journalism
Meet the Hacks Watch "Meet the Press" or "Face the Nation".
The hosts won't ask tough questions.
Why? If they do, just one time, the guest will never again appear on their show.

Lately... their guests are THEIR OWN FREAKING STAFF!
Ask Your Doctor...
on nightly National News.
American drug companies carpet news broadcasts with these painfully dumb commercials.
They are begging you to buy their drugs. Drug Pushers are monsters.
NOTE: Starting in 2007, the new term is: "Ask Your Prescriber"
These things...
Costco Wal-Mart Sams Club
Award Shows
An inexpensive way for the Networks to attract top actors and actresses
into appearing in a TV show for free by offering them glory, gift bags, and cheap little statues.
Political Parties
Political Parties in America have two goals:
  1 - Make the other party fail.
  2 - Take money from lobbyists to fund re-election campaigns.
Bad Gas Mileage
Model T The Ford Model T got    24 Miles Per Gallon!

What is our problem?

Viagra Ads
Millions of dollars are spent every day to advertise products
that need no advertising whatsoever. I can't decide if Tampax Ads are just as useless.
The worst thing about these ads is they make America dumber.
Candy wrappers
containing the words: "Fat Free"   Fat Free
Goldfish Crackers
Goldfish Crackers will dumb you down!
Politically Correct
The Last Sambos Stewardess Aunt Jemima
The word: Homeless
(Only when used to describe an adult, not a child)
The P.C. people insist we use this word, instead of "Bum" (or "Bums").
Listing this item is my payback for not being able to say the word "Bum".
When we were kids, we would see the bums downtown and by the railroad tracks.
Our parents scared us into growing up to be good citizens by saying:
"You better do (this or that), so you won't grow up to be a bum!".
Thank You, P.C. people - why don't we rename YOU to something like: 'Snots'?
Coal fired Power Plants
Coal Power Plant Burning Coal to produce electricity
Olympic Vignettes
Athlete Sob-Stories narrated by Jim Nantz, CBS Winter Olympics, 1998.
Reason: Ruined the Olympics.
Bottled Water
Bottled Water Oh, my God! -- It's really TAP WATER!
Groin Shots
on "America's Funniest Home Videos".
Anti Science
Dumb 100 "There is no evidence that Global Warming is caused by human activity."
Debit Cards
If you can't control yourself with a Credit Card,
You won't control yourself with a Debit Card, either.
They are a ton of fun, though, while they still have money in them.
The word: Unbelievable
When something mildly unusual happens, Americans now say "That was Unbelievable!".
The Movie: Airplane II, the Sequel
1982, starring Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty.
Especially the part when the Space Shuttle makes an emergency landing on the moon.
The Bloop
From the TV Series "Lost In Space".
You should See the Bloop (Opens in New Window)
We can't spell 'dumbing'
dumming down I run this website from my own web server.
This is a common search phrase
in my server log file.
JarJar Binks
From Star Wars IV.
Reason: Ruined the movie.
This item might be misplaced here, because the movie was shown worldwide.
That means that the whole planet got profoundly dumber.
People who Dumb Down smart people
Hannity No Spin Zone Squidward and Gretchen McBush
The word: Ultimately
This Power Word is now banned from the English Language.
Over Population
Of all the problems in America, this one is the biggest.
Barbara Walters
"In-Depth" interviews by Barbara Walters. The most shallow TV personality,
yet her tonal inflections make her sound credible to the simple mind.
Katie Couric
Watching Katie Courick is like watching a kidnap victim taping a ransom video.
Note: Correct spelling is Katie Couric
Note: Her Sarah Palin interview rocked! Sep 23, 2008
Note: June 2, 2009 Katie is improving, I may remove this item...
Poor KatieBoo Hoo!
Terror Alerts on FOX cable news
Terror Alert This comes in two versions.
(The version for grown-ups is the one on the left side, by the way).
Every 15 minutes, Fox News will "scroll" the current threat level.

NOTE: Fox News apparently read this very website,
and terminated this practice in early 2008.
-- Thank You, Fox News!
The Cure for Cancer
Since the 60's, Americans have been generously pouring hard earned money into the coffers
of hundreds of charities and non-profit org's for "the Cure for Cancer".
This has been a giant 'snow-job' on America, because after over 40 years, we still
give them money constantly. Remember, these are PhD's thinking up ways to get us to pay their
salaries for walking around in lab coats and looking important.
Boy, are we ever dumb. In over 40 years, have those PhD's even cured one thing?
These Shows
Petticoat Junction Laverne and Shirley Dukes of Hazard
Boob Jobs
I'm not saying that only dumb girls get boob jobs, I'm saying that America is being
dumbed down by the notion of boob jobs. Shame on any guy that suggests that a woman
needs a boob job. Shame on any woman that thinks she is inferior without one.
Four More Years...

Oops... I meant :
Eight More Years...

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
Every Float promotes a product. McDonalds, Mr. Peanut, Lego Toys, etc.
The parade is really a 3 hour long commercial.

American Children are now Much Dumber, because of:

These things...
Rear Seat DVD playersXbox
These things...
George Bush They say...
We say...
McDonalds KidsMcDonalds Toys
Everyone gets a Trophy
Nobody loses in today's children's Soccer!
Who is the brainiac that invented this idea?
Gee, mom; "Goody Goody Gumdrops!".
Japanese Anime cartoons
These run at five frames per second,
and cause seizures and measurable brain damage in both children and adults.
Your child loses 1 to 2 IQ points per episode watching these cartoons.
Baby Einstein by Disney
Baby Einstein Oh, my gosh!
Researchers found that children who watched these were profoundly dumber than those who didn't.
Tele Tubbies
Brilliantly crafted series by the British.
Their eventual goal with this show is to re-colonize America in about 40 years,
after children raised on this show are in charge of American government.
My wife won't let me watch Tele Tubbies anymore, I tend to mimic the characters too much.
by Oscar Mayer

Just Rambling:

"When you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill
"When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."
"Genius is inventing your own job, not applying for one." - Val Patterson
"If you are going to be hit by a car, be sure it's an Ambulance". - My Wife, Mary Jane
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result. -- Albert Einstein
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. -- Albert Einstein
The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is:
   the stupid people are so sure about things,
   and the intelligent folks are so full of doubts. -- Bertrand Russel

Val PattersonVal 'Rocky' Patterson, Salt Lake City, UT

See also: Rocky's Home page
See also: Rocky's The Dumbing Down of America
See also: Rocky's Top 100 Has-Been Actors page
See also: Rocky's Smarting up of America page
See also: Rocky's American Corporate Evil page
See also: Rocky's When Will it Happen? page
See also: Rocky's Funny Pictures page
See also: Rocky's Look Alikes page